It is impossible to achieve Socialism

In general, all system builders (Plato, Aristotle, Hegel and Marx) that lead to the conception of Socialism believed that our society is progressively moving from imperfect to perfect. They assumed that mankind is going to simultaneously achieved ethical and logical perfection.

Even if we consider heredity and survival of the fittest, centuries of interbreeding between "acceptable perfect human" (by the current definition of that time) will not guarantee an equal race. There would still be people that are going to be smarter, bigger and/or stealthier that can destroy a seemingly classless society. There are still people who are going to be natural leaders and people that are natural followers.

Collective ownership of everything implemented since birth wouldn't also guarantee that people will grow up to just accept it. Bending of personalities and traits always results to resistance. As long as the human mind can perceive that it is being persecuted and see itself as a victim, struggle will ensue.

Must-See-Places in Estonia, Latvia & Lithuania Travel Plan

So, before my big trip, I am putting this out here just for me to write something about it afterwards. I have been super busy this past few months given all the activities that I've been doing here in Bergen.

I will update you with photos and extra tips after I got back from my trip and show here how much I've spent as a budget traveler. Literally not planning to spend more than 4000NOK in everything. Also, Gdansk is not on this blog post yet since my " travel plan" for that city is still mess up.

So my route would be from Gdansk-Riga-Tallinn-Vilnius-Oslo then back to Bergen.

Riga, Latvia

1. House of Blackheads - 14th Century
2. St. Peter's Church - 13th Century; with view of the Old Town
3. Riga Cathedral - 13th Century (to enter)
4. Dome Square
5. The Three Brothers - Architectural Museum
6. Swedish Gate
7. Powder Tower/ Latvian War Museum *FREE ENTRANCE*
8. Bastejkalna Park & Canal Cruise (if we have extra budget)
9. Freedom Monument / Laima Clock
10. Central Riga
11. Museum of the Occupation of Latvia - Entrance Free by Donation
12. Ethnographic Open Air Museum of Latvia

Tallinn, Estonia

*Upon arrival, Tallinn Old Town Days Fest is still on until 2200

1. Old Town - Toompea Castle and Hill
2. Cathedral of St. Mary the Virgin - Bell tower *donation*
3. Tallinn Town Hall Square
4. Tallinn Town Hall Pharmacy - one of the oldes continuously used in Europe ; since 1415
5. Town Wall - climb all levels
6. Danish King's Garden *to be explored*
7. St. Olaf's Church *climb on top of the bell tower*
8. KGB Museum
9. Vana Toomas - weather vane; *you can enter*
10. Alexander Novsky Cathedral
11. Kadriog Park
12. Patearei Prison / Sea Fortress Exhibition Area
13. Kalamaja district
14. Telliskivi Creative City *street art*
15. Pirita Promenade
16. Doll Museum *A MUST*

*Balti Jaama Turg - street food

*local beer at Purtse Taproom

Vilnius, Lithuania

1. The Cathedral Basilica & Belfry of St. Stanislaus & St. Ladislaus of Vilnius
2. Palace of the Grand Dukes of Lithuania - night visit
3. Bernardine Gardens - oldest , 400 yrs old
4. Uzupist - oldest areas/ Bernardine Cemetery - Resident Angel *must see*
5. Paupys Art Gallery
6. Church of St. Anne & Bernardine Church Ensemble (built for Anne, Grand Duchess of Lithuania)
7. Literaty Street - BE INSPIRED!
8. Pilies Street - oldest & most ornate street in old town
9. Church of St. Johns
10. Lukiskes Prison
11. Glass Quarter
12. Town Hall Square / Vokieciy St.
13. Gates of Dawn
14. Hale Market - oldest indoor market
15. Museum of Occupation 
16. Gediminas Ave. walk-walk-walk
17. Vilnius Cathedral
18. Vilnius University
19. Presidential Palace - 14th century
20. Vilnius Ghetto
21. Tower - furnicular

2023 Q1 Recap Part 1

Lately, for some reason, I've been troubled with scenarios from the past. It will all of a sudden blow on my face and I would cringe heavily inside. Conversations with past friends, past colleagues and superiors and with classmates that I no longer talk to just come back time and time again to haunt me. "What is happening?", I often ask myself. I am relatively happy in comparison to my previous life so where is this coming from? Am I just sabotaging the peaceful life I am having right now thinking I am not good enough for all of this? 

Three months of living in Norway changed a lot for me. Even the way I speak is slowly changing. I am now utterly confused with all the languages I am trying to learn all at the same time. My English and Filipino are suffering heavily since the Scandinavian languages started interferring. I am fearful that by the end, I will not be fluent with any language. On the other hand, I am starting to speak more and more German. I have to push myself after my boyfriend's uncle's words to me the last time I stayed in their place. Ah! To be an adult! What a complicated thing to be. We remember everything bad that has happened to us and when it comes to good things, we have a hard time just soaking it in and enjoying it. So, going back, yeah, I am trying to speak German more and more. It's bad to have a B1 level and yet you couldn't speak the language properly. From time to time, my boyfriend would help me. Although I get annoyed with him because of his constant corrections, I aim to push through. I know that the "annoyance" is just something innate to me. I shouldn't take it seriously or take it to heart since it's just a normal human reaction to correction (especially for adults). Adults think that they know everything and it takes a lot of guts to say otherwise.

As for my physical health, I DID gain some weight but now trying to loose all of it. I would like to blame people around me but then again, it has always been my choice to eat shitty food and drink soda almost daily for a month. Upon writing, I have not eaten rice nor drank soda for 5 days already. Self-control is crucial to every aspect of our lives and in here, I am truly tested. And just to make it clear, I am not trying to lose weight because of what I am seeing on social media. I've already accepted that I have a short torso and a boxy appearance. I mean, of course, from time to time I still feel bad about it but what can I do? This is the lot I've been given so I just have to accept and embrace it. 

The reason why I am trying to lose weight is because of all the hiking and trekking that I am doing here in Bergen. There are seven mountains surrounding the city and I want to hike all of them in just one day so I need to train AND train I will. I also want to look good in a swimsuit if my boyfriend and I would really end up going to Mallorca this summer around my birth month. I mean, I would also wear a swimsuit anyways if we go to the Carolus Thermen in Aachen but that is a hotspring. In Mallorca, that is a REAL beach. They said that it's warm to swim there and I've never been to a beach that is acceptably warm for me to swim here in Scandinavia. I am just really hoping that in Mallorca, it's truly warm, not just Europe warm. Coming from a tropical country sucks once you move here.

A problem for me since time immemorial is the dental care. It's not covered by any insurance here in Scandinavia for adults so it's expensive. That's what I am trying to deal with right now so let's see how I'll manage that. I'm looking at a 7.000 NOK bill or more for all the procedures that I need to have. Wish me luck.

So yeah, the recap will end here for now. There's gonna be a part two because I apparently can't write long anymore. I just write when the mood suits me. I am doing a lot of stuff lately and my checklist is bugging me to fulfill it. 

[Stoic Meditation] One Day It Will All Make Sense

I often find myself doing this: questioning all the things that has happened around me. There are times that I've grown bitter about situations because I just couldn't understand it at the time. I could give a lot of examples but there is probably nothing that can beat what happened to my professional life back home in the Philippines.

I thought I was an okay student of Geology. It is so funny because until now, from time to time, I often rerun the comments of my peers and professors in my head; deliciously savoring every word of it. I guess it is for my vanity as well, fine, but the real truth of the matter is that I am just trying to placate my low perception of myself. I am often scared that I am not good enough. I need reassurance that I will make it, that I will have a good paying job that will be able to send me to post grad studies. I wasn't even aiming for something grand. It was just the minimum per se.

But it came to naught. I got my first job before my board exam. It was from the company which gave me the scholarship to begin with so I was already expecting a lower salary. That's just how it is back home if you're hired by the sponsoring company for some reason. I got just above minimum wage around that time. I told myself that it's okay since I don't have my license to practice geology yet. It might change afterwards. And so I passed the board exam in just one take.

Nothing happened. My colleague, who was also a scholar but didn't passed the board exam, was still earning as much as I am. I am doing more technical work than him but the pay was just the same. It kinda got icky for me in the company. Aside from this "semi-resentment" (because c'mon, I think it wasn't full blown), he's also some kind of a yes-man and a person who you can just like tell things but nothing will happen. I find him pliable while I was too headstrong for the management. Anyway, I resigned only after a year of working in there because of countless reasons. There was the fact that they refused to regularized me (aside from the no increase in wage after getting my license) and that I was having problems with the consultancy company that they hire. My values also don't align with them. They call me ideal when I am just trying to be an actually "good and upright". This company has been in the industry for so long that their way, whether good, to be frowned at or just illegal in some ways, should be the only way.

I worked for the government afterwards. This experience put me under a lot of stress and anxiety due to the fact that there is no job security. I do earn a lot but I don't have any benefits. The Philippine Government is the number one rule-breaker of Labor Law, in my opinion. It took me two years to break away though because the pay was higher than the Geologist jobs being posted about. I remember Eagle Cement offered me a 6-day work week which only pays Php 17.000 in 2018. I was already a licensed Geologist back then WITH EXPERIENCE.

I was truly becoming disenchanted with my degree. I don't know a lot of people that can get me a job in my field. I have no relatives with high positions that can bump elbows with another higher up to secure for me even an interview. I don't have any padrino that can recommend me even to the most menial of jobs in my field that I can think of. So, I decided that if I can't be a fully-pledged mining geologist, I can just be an environmental geologist or something close to that. I care for the environment and I want to use what I learn to make a difference.

I got a job in the renewables. It was fun and promising at first and although the pay wasn't good (but there was a promise of raises and bonuses), the vision and mission of the company aligned with my principles. Until it wasn't. It was just a running political scam heavily veiled by environmental wokeness. 

This was all happening during the pandemic. I was in a state of panic due to the job insecurity. I felt hopeless for the future and my dreams of getting a master's degree. I didn't even know how I was able to do all of the things I did then to get where I am today. The series of misfortunes I have experienced is truly just a prelude to a promising future. I am not completely there yet I am continually working on it. The pieces are falling slowly into place and although I don't know the "bigger plan" or the "universal reason" at the moment, I will just continue to work on myself now knowing that one day, it will all make sense.

[Stoic Meditation] What's Better Left Unsaid

There are a lot of times that I beat myself up because of what I have said. Countless of sleepless nights where I imagine a different flow of conversation where I was wiser. Even when I take a shower, I spent half of it running an alternate dialog altogether of past events.

Once, Cato the Younger said:

Better they not blame my life. I begin to speak only when I'm certain what I'll say isn't better left unsaid.

A funny thing about human beings: we are born competitive. I think this is somehow a problem when it comes to our self-control because more often than not, we want to have the last laugh (or in this regard, the last words). Individually, we prefer to cut than to be cut. Either with a weapon or with our words. Sometimes even both.

Just recently, an aunt of mine died. It was so sudden, no one even expected it to happen so soon. She's still young and thriving and there seemed to be so much life ahead of hers. But there isn't and to us who are left behind, there are a lot of regrets. Personally, I have a lot of grief towards her. She was my dentist and to put it out there, even if it's rather krass, her work fuck my teeth up and my wallet here abroad. She put installed braces without conducting an x-ray first, there was a tooth, IN FRONT, that she insisted to be in a particular position even though it wasn't straight, she left gaps on my upper jaw (which is partly my fault because I have to go abroad), she removed a lot of my old fillings that are great af and now they are falling apart one by one and, the most heartbreaking of all, she increased my bill and added additional costs once she found out I am going to Europe. As if all of a sudden I became rich and able to pay Php 15k more. 

I've been complaining to my mother and to my other aunt every single time that something happen to my teeth and I know that she found out about it. I was not happy, I was upset. I used words that are harsh and impolite. I wish that I could have a more unemotional response to it. I greatly failed on that. I wish I just kept it to myself and let it go. 

If there is one thing I have been proud of though when it comes to my self-control, I'll say that it would be times when I divulge information online. I am heavily political and I see it as a responsibility of every individual who actually cares about their motherland. Unlike most people who believe everything they see online, I thoroughly research my shit before I post it online. More often than not, when I see ridiculous posts from people close to me and I dare to respond, I type it out and look if it's appropriate and not hurtful (or at least not directly insulting--I can't really gauge their reaction or perception of it). If it's not, I rephrase it to a more palatable content. It's better to attract flies with honey than vinegar anyways. I want to be heard so I would rather not spew venom.

It takes a lot of energy to repress heavy emotions when communicating. There are times that it's beneficial but I think, it's more hurtful than helpful. When we are clouded with emotions, we are not able to process things logically. We don't know what's proper and appropriate. We don't know what's hurtful or not; both to others and to ourselves. This requires awareness and being in touch with the obvious.

[Stoic Meditation] Only Bad Dreams

For today's meditation, the Stoics remind us that most of our worries aren't even real. More often than not, we "imagine" them. We "create" scenarios based on our fears and anxieties. We dread the worst and therefore, we live through a nightmare that we created ourselves.

As humans, we are generally ambitious and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone wants a nice life (but of course, the definition of this is subjective) and it's frustrating if we are unable to attain it. With this in mind, we try to chase a lot of things associated with our interpretation of a "nice life" and it's not easy. More often than not, these things--a high paying job, an expensive house, an eco-friendly car, an outstanding education, a happy and lasting relationship, etc.-- are difficult to get. Aside from the actual physical hard work that we put on our dreams, there is another aspect that plays behind the scene. The strength and durability of our mentality is being tested. Actually, even before doing the physical work, we first and foremost put ourselves under a lot of stress and rigorous self-depracation. We call ourselves out, we tell ourselves that it's impossible because we are not good enough, we imagine all possible negative scenarios that we can think of. With fear and nervousness around the corner, we are helpless.

But then again, what if it works out? What if that very thing that you truly wanted is just at the grasp of your hand and you just have to go with it? What if the things that can go wrong in your mind is just gonna stay, well, in your mind? Just mere fabrications of our presumptuos self.

I often find myself in this situation: I love to scare myself with my imaginations. I find myself provoked by my thoughts and I beat myself up for it, sometimes other people around me too (eg. my lovely boyfriend who gets the short end of the stick when I watch cheating soaps online) which is not a good thing. I play scenarios in my head, always getting ahead of myself, without even thinking if it makes sense. Just like what the meditation pointed out, when we have a dream, whether it's good or bad, do we question if it makes sense? Of course not! We just wake up, think about how weird it is, and just go with our day. 

I know that situations in our life are not comparable to dreams but is there something that we can do with things that we can't even control the outcome of? The answer is of course none. BUT, there's one thing that we can control: our reactions. We should carry emotions with dignity and strength. Let nothing shakes you even if life is scary.

I'm going to close this post with words from Seneca, "There is nothing so certain in our fears that's not yet more certain in the fact that most of what we dread comes to nothing." Just keep on going and don't let things that has never happened affects you. 

[Stoic Meditation] Protect Your Peace of Mind

This is the fourth day of me trying to practice Stoicism.

I've been writing my insights every single day since I've started but I think this is going to be the first one to be published. I don't know. Maybe it's because it's a Sunday and I have more time in my hands right now and I just want to be able to update my blog. I've been trying to collate infos and write articles that I should published every other day but it's difficult with my schedule. 

I mean, it's doable, I suppose, but I don't want to be burned out to JUST publish. I want to enjoy life, make it meaningful and make the most out of it. I still want to have the time to listen to music, watch horrible videos online, listen to gossips and contemplate about life. I am truly living in the moment, lol. 

Now, for today's meditation, the book has quoted Epictetus from his work, 'Discourses'.

"Keep constant guard over your perceptions, for it is no small thing you are protecting, but your respect, trustworthiness and steadiness, peace of mind, freedom from pain and fear, in a word, your freedom. For what would you sell these things?"

So far, what I got from being Stoic is to be able to remove yourself from negative perceptions. Taking away the power of things or situations to upset you and "make trouble" within you. I find it fascinating that I've been practicing this without even knowing that this is Stoicism. 

I admit, I've made a lot of changes in my life due to my anxieties and stresses and just generally for having peace of mind. During university, I've removed myself from big groups in order to be able to focus more on my study without being confused from my classmates "lectures". I have also moved away from home when the living situation there won't work out anymore. For four years before moving abroad, I've only visited home when there are special occasions and even stay on the day of Christmas itself and go home before the nightfalls. I've stopped the restless pursuit of validation from my parents, relatives and everyone that knows me. It gives me constant worries and doubts and honestly, it's just not worth it. At work, I've stopped giving outputs that are not even on my job description. I was not born a slave and I won't start now.

It is not because I don't give a damn about these at all. I do, A LOT, and that's why anxiety and stress are always up there when thinking about these things. I guess, at some point, I realize that I should care about myself more and try to make myself happy. That going on with my life with all of these fears and pains and "boxes" just strangles the life out of me. As per this book, "Every time you get upset, a little bit of life leaves the body." I can only have enough life in my time of living and I don't want to spend that on being just mad, angry, fearful, upset, etc. I want to have a carefree life as much as possible.

UNESCO World Heritage Sites: Reaching Birka!

Ever since I set foot in Europe and started traveling, I developed this strong hankering in seeing every UNESCO World Heritage Site in Europe. I know, I know. You might be thinking that this "dream" of mine is absurd and borderline crazy but in my opinion, if you're already putting your head in the clouds, might as well choose the highest cloud (or cluster of clouds) up there. 

I forgot when exactly this madness started until I opened the version history of one of my saved Google Drive Sheets entitled, "Europe Way"*. So it was August 10, 2022, the inevitable start of Autumn in Sweden, when I started the idea of ticking off every UNESCO site. The high of the great Swedish summer days already subsided and all that was left to me was the crisp breeze of fall. I am gonna be side tracking a little bit in here but I would just like to say that June and July of 2022 were probably the best months of my life that year**. 

It all started with my visit in Birka, an archeological site of an early, and so far the oldest, Viking trading center and burial grounds in Sweden. It was said that it flourished for 200 years between 750 BCE to its enivetable end around the turn of the 10th century. The reason for the decline and then immediate abandonement of the town is of course still unknown to this day but there are several speculations regarding this. Speculations about the possible factor/s of abandonment includes: (1) isostatic rebound of the landmass after the melting of glaciers known as post-glacial rebound which cut off Birka from the nearest access towards to Baltic Sea, (2) establishment of a "Christian" town, Sigtuna, which supplanted Birka and its influence, (3) establishment of a different trading capital that is more beneficial (ie. Gotland), (4) enemy assault as per Historian, Neil Kent, and (5) changing the seat of power of the King from Adelso to a different place (maybe the Upplands) to name a few.

So this teeny island, Björkö, that is located ~29km west of Stockholm, started everything. 

Getting there:

This trip will take two (2) hours via commuting. No information about car rides will be provided in this page.

(Aside from the fact that I only commuted when I was leaving in Stockholm, the whole country itself offers a great public transportation service. Late buses and trains are almost a never occurrence. Unless it is cause by inclement weather and/or technical difficulties. Commuting is affordable too.)

From T-Centralen

1. Take the Tunnelbana Green Line number 17, 18, 19 Direction Hässelby strand, Åkeshov, etc. Anything that will go and/or stop by Brommaplan will do. Alight at Station Brommaplan.

2. From Brommaplan, wait for the Bus 312 at Station A Direction towards Adelsö. There would be a lot of Bus Stops from Brommaplan to the stop Adelsö kyrka (Adelsö Church). Seventy-three (73) stops in total but it would be worth the trip because of all the places that you would see along the way.

Inside the cute SL Bus

The most exciting part is when you stop at the Adelsö färjeläge where the cute Swedish red bus will stop and be ferried towards the island of Adelsö. The driver will stop and wait for the boarding. You can go down the bus and take photos at the pier.

Once in the island, wait for the bus to announce your stop. Alight at Adelsö kyrka.

So sorry for this image. Mr. Sun was not cooperating.

3. Walk towards the sign that says "Gravfält".

This is the Hovgården where ruins of a King's Hall, runic carvings and Viking graves (3) still remains. As per the UNESCO website, "A runic stone at Hovgården, carved around 1070, is evidence of the king’s presence. Several kings resided at Hovgården during the 1200s; one of them, Magnus Ladulås, completed a brick and stone building known as Alsnö hus. This building was the venue for the Royal Council of 1280, which established the foundation of the Swedish medieval feudal system."

The sign that you should be looking for. There is an entrance going inside the field. Very easy to locate as it is along the road.

The runic carving

The ruins

4. Follow the trail towards the pier. A mark which says, "Båt till Birka" or "Boat to Birka" is the clue.

You can go book your tickets with this link.

The sign

Since I go directly to Adelsö and not started my boat trip from Stockholm City, the ticket I've paid for is a little bit cheaper. If you're visiting Stockholm for vacation and would love to have an exciting boat ride, better take the opportunity to travel from the city itself.

Me doing a photoshoot while waiting for the boat to come

Look at that sparkling water during summer. Also showcasing my fave bag

My snack

Of course, traveling with a book is my thing

That's where the boat to Birka will pick you up.

5. You're in the island. ENJOY!

Join the guided tour of the archeologists in there so you can be immersed fully about the history of the island. You'll have your free time too, of course, after the one hour tour. Some people swim, eat in the restaurant, walk around the museum and the model Viking city in there. You can also visit all the landmarks highlighted on the map that you can take from the Museum. 

Writing in runes that will welcome you

Plaque and/Proof that it is indeed a UNESCO World Heritage Site

Guided tour in the island.

These are graves that are no longer mounds due to the isostatic rebound that had happened when the glaciers melted. Kinda fucked, am I right? 

As for me, I really enjoyed the guided tour because it was informative. Our guide told us that there were supposed to be 5.000 burial mounds known wherein 1.000 of which were already excavated and 2.000 lost to agricultural land and development of the island (it is a private property belonging to a single family for 400 years). A famous remain, known now as the Warrior woman, was excavated with a complete and admirable set of armor that to this day is still considered to be the best example from that century. Not to mention that for some considerable length of years, archeologists thought that this remains is that of a male warrior due to the elaborate burial and items in the site. 

The museum in the island. Free entrance.

They also accept cash for food and souvenirs.

Runic charms for your leisure. Available at the Souvenir shop inside the museum

Miniature of the King's Hall

Viking Village Model

More graveyards

Me amongst the graves

Inside one of the model houses

A Viking boat model

It was also interesting that a geologist was the first one to take interest in the island. Hjalmar Stolpe was the guy. His wikipedia page might not mentioned it but he has a degree in Geology. His interest in Amber led him to the Björkö island and then to the archeological site of Birka. As per the website of Birka Vikingastaden, "The geologist became and archeologist".

That's it for now. As of the moment, I have visited 12 UNESCO World Heritage Sites. Can't wait to see the rest of the 159 Sites!

*"Europe Way" is a funny af name for a file, I know, but aside from the list of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites in Europe that I've put in there, this file also contains all my travel plans with my boyfriend, our expected spendings, incomes and savings, and all our actual travel expenses, tallied and double-checked receipts and currency conversions.  This is a shared file between the two of us and would also bear our travels in the foreseeable future.
**It's difficult to decide, honestly, because I did a lot of things, and I mean, A LOT OF THINGS, last year but those two months are probably the best. I saw a lot of places in Stockholm, did some hikes in that flatland (tee hee) and did a lot of bus rides to the outskirts of the county. I even traveled to Aachen, Germany again and did a cross-country trip to it covering multiple cities of Sweden, Denmark and Germany. The songs "Smoking Out the Window" and "Skate" of Silk Sonic are the soundtracks of this summer FOREVER.

A New Chapter

For those who discovered this blog for my Geology Reviewers, I'm so sorry that there's been a long drought for that. I've been stearing far away from my field for, I guess, almost four years now. BUT, the next two years would be the last time that I would just casually write about stuff in this blog that is not Geology related. I'm working something on the background but I really need more time for that.

At the moment though, I want to write more about my travels (10 COUNTRIES in one year, OMG!) and the tips and information that I've gathered while I was doing that. I've come to love this current lifestlye of mine where I get to see new places and meet people of different background. It's a life changer and I just want to share it with people to educate them for future trips. I want to keep on doing it more!

So, yeah. After living in Sweden for almost a year (it was only 14 days short of a full year), I am now residing in Bergen, Norway. I am kinda sad for leaving Stockholm behind but that is life. We move forward. 

More about the move later as I have to go out and reach that 10,000 steps of mine. Bergen is so rainy during winter that I can't literally do shit outside. It's kinda dangerous since every trail here is either going up or down only. (I am staying near a mountain side, so you know).

Bye for now!

Moving Abroad

 Currently, life is promising.

I've never imagined that 2022 is gonna be my year. A lot has change for me. Whether it be financially or mentally, I think everything changed, and keeps on changing, for the better.

The world is bigger now; my perspective no longer caged within a limiting and suffocating box. Everyday I get to meet people from all walks of life. Being able to hear outlandish and courageous stories first hand made me a more accepting person.

There is a lot of going ons in my life. All of a sudden, before me are thresholds of seemingly endless possibilities, choices and places to see. My feet can't and won't stand to just be still. I am always on the go.

For the first time ever, I can truly say that I am happy. There is joy. There is hope. 

Although some things in the past kinda haunts me from day to day especially now that I am not getting enough sun, I still think that I am able to say that I am way better than who I am a year ago.

This is truly a life-changing experience.

[Life Blog] Autumn Vibes or "Just Tired with Life" Vibes

 It was crazy that right after summer, I've been feeling so down and unmotivated. I don't even want to move or anything. The "zeal" to see new things and discover new places here in Sweden is gone. I can confidently say that I AM LANGUISHING.

I hate that feeling. I feel like I'm just here, existing. Nothing to look forward for but emptiness and deadly routines. I feel like my mind is slowly diminishing into nothingness. 

With everything that's happening to the world and the freaking temperature here in Sweden, I don't know if I can last through the harsh winter, lol.

Anyway, really not into writing. I have three drafts in here but sadly, not one of them is worthy enough to be published such as this rant.

[Personal Blog] Creative Mommy Phase

I know it's a little bit weird to say that I'm doing the "mommy living" but sometimes I feel that way. Truly, it's difficult to not feel like a mother who is burdened with two young children that need entertaining at all times. Even though it's technically only 4-5 hours each day during weekdays and maybe 3-5 hours during the weekends.

Every day, I try to think about ways to take their attention away from their iPads or from the SmartTV. I hate that they consume a lot of YouTube videos and I hate that the eldest, who just turned 5 this July, started saying, "what the fuck" all of a sudden. You can't imagine the horror that I felt once he started dropping those F-bombs. I did my best to stay calm, casually dismissing it the first time that I've heard it from him (thinking that it will just go away if you don't have any reactions to it--as most of the things they say at this age) but the second and third time really did it for me. I immediately checked all the videos that he watched and looked if there's a new channel that he just watched recently that is not suitable for young children or tweens. I didn't found any so I reported it to the parents. They told me that he must have heard it from someone during conversations but they did not elaborate any longer. I think I have an idea where he heard it after all.

And so, we paint. We color coloring book sometimes. We go out and play on the playground. I took the youngest, who's only 2, outside and play with bubbles or the watergun. Sometimes we even water plants. From time to time we go to the library and pick up books to read or just do some reading in there. I love that here in Sweden, libraries are per city and you'll find them in the centrum. Centrums are like the town centers and you can find all major establishments and supermarkets there most of the time.

But the whole reason that I am doing this blog post right now is to tell you how we made a whole board game for ourselves, consisting of all the things that the eldest kid, O, really likes.

Just like any other kids, he plays Minecraft. I introduced it to him and life has never been the same ever since. He learned to make a lot of cool tricks and builds just by watching YouTube (it can be helpful at times BUT NOT ALL THE TIME) and sometimes we play together in his server. I love Minecraft personally and it's a game that my boyfriend and I play religiously (if my internet permits it). 

He likes Roblox too. Something that I am not familiar with. I can't understand the game so I just read, or rather skim online, some lores and gameplay of it. So yeah. Haha.

He also plays a lot of Five Nights at Freddy's, watches a lot of Jamesify's videos (who plays GTA5, btw) and of course, Star Wars. I don't even know how it started but I remember telling him about Star Wars when I got so hooked up by The Mandalorian. 

All of these things we combined to create this monstrosity:

We also added some Swedish things

We made everything from scratch, with him coloring most of the figures in here (as I encourage it so that he will not be bored and just go back to watching on the TV while I do this). 

Coloring on the floor since his sister is using the table

Even with the dice, since I really don't want to buy a new one, we just repurposed a Bamse dice from their Mix n' Match game. I cut 5 small pieces of paper, asked him to draw dots on them from 1 to 5 and just leave Bamse's face as the number '6'. The figures, I drew them as well.

My character is the Princess Peach Among Us Crewmate. Don't ask why.

He was so excited when we started this project and he was even more hyped after we finished. The parents, especially the dad, was really amazed that we managed to concoct one, manageable and easy board game for kids. They were so happy to play it even when it wasn't done yet. 

So yeah, my host kid and I did this together. He was included in everything and the whole idea of the game is from his interest. I hope he'll remember this one day that we spend two days creating our very own board game consisting of all the things that he love when he was 5 years old.

Liège Day Trip

During my summer holiday, I found out that I have a lot of time on my own. My boyfriend is studying for an exam for his Masters program and I am not that selfish to force him to do things with me that much. I wanted to visit a proper Belgian city so I decided to choose the closest to Aachen and that was Liège. During my first visit in Germany, I've only crossed the borders (NL, BE, DE) from time to time. Only visited Maastricht, which is a Dutch town, and just step foot on Belgium when I was in the Three-Country Point (Dreiländereck in German). 

Me in three different countries all at once

Me in Maastricht

Back when I was planning for this trip, I was promised that we will visit Brussels on a different day (which didn't happen due to time contraints) so I guess Liège was fine for me. I booked my Liège trip via Flixbus (so affordable and convenient for a voracious traveller like me!) and then I was all set. It was cheap. I think I only paid 17 Euros back and forth. The town is only an hour away from Aachen so it's really a nice day trip tour.

So, after a 30mins delay from the bus (also the first time that I've experienced this on Flixbus), there I was in Liège. Not to be mean, but this is the dirtiest European city I’ve visited so far. It’s giving me Manila-vibes; with cigarette butts and wrappings everywhere. One has to be also alert because you might step on dog poops and you’ll be wary to stand in corners or walk on seemingly empty alleyways because it smells like pee. This is also the first time in this continent where I feel like I am not safe. There are a lot of seemingly shady people loitering in the area (I've even seen two peopel just casually sitting in front of a kiosk, with their black eyes and bleeding wounds on their faces besides a pool of blood) and men stare at you, as if they're checking you like some goods in the market. It was so weird because I haven't really experienced that in Germany or Sweden. 

The first thing that you'll see when you arrive by bus of train

Liège-Guillemins railway station

Most of the time, staffs won’t be friendly on you if you only speak English and not French. Interactions would be curt and sometimes impolite but of course, it might just be isolated cases. Hopefully.

Provincial Palace (Front)

Liege University - Main

Some French posters I've encountered while walking in the city

St. Paul's Cathedral in Liege

A memorable thing that happened for me though in Liège is when I was circling around the Provincial Palace (previously the Palace of the Prince Bishop) going to the Museum of Wallon Life was when I met a Moroccan guy. I asked him to take a photo of me on the side of the Provincial Palace because it really reminded me of France. We had a little talk then and when he found out that I came from the Philippines, he told me that he was saved by Filipino seamen when he was crossing the sea on his way to Europe. I was so confused at first why he was saved in the middle of the sea (or ocean because I think he was saved in the Atlantic Ocean?) but then he told me that he wanted to work in Europe so he did it. He was in the area as a matter of fact because he has a 13:00 appointment at the Palace of Justice which is behind the Provincial Palace. He's working on his papers to be a legal migrant in Belgium.

Photo taken by the Morrocan guy

After that encounter, I visited the Museum of Wallon Life (everything is in French inside the museum so you need to get an audioguide with you. It's free.) The entrance is 5 Euros and everything inside is about the life of the Wallons. I'm not gonna even try to explain what it is to you but to my best understanding, they are an ethnic group living in Belgium who predominantly speaks French. Maybe just read this Wikipedia article if you're interested. Photos from inside the museum can be found below. Sorry if I didn't took much. I was trying to understand what I was seeing in there.

After the museum, I  went to the Montagne de Bueren. It has a 374-steps staircase and online blogs will tell you that you'll have the best view of the city on top. I guess it's okay but I think there are some buildings blocking your view on top, so yeah. It was really exhausting to climb it that day because the sun was hitting the staircase directly.

According to Wikipedia, 

In 2013, Montagne de Bueren was ranked as #1 on The Huffington Post's list of Most Extreme Staircases.

Another fun fact from the Wikipedia Page is this:  

In July 2020, in response to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic in Belgium, Belgian explorer and adventurer Louis-Philippe Loncke ascended and descended the staircase 135 times carrying a 15 kg backpack, simulating an ascent of Mount Everest. The 9000m climb, which took 65 hours 30 minutes, was meant to show that one could still "trouver des défis physiques près de chez soi" (find physical challenges close to home).

For the full article, click this for the link. 

Me before climbing

Somewhere up there

“Pedestrian is King” here though. I feel like a badass crossing streets because cars stop for you and Stop&Go traffic signs are only used on major highways and intersections.

They do have lovely pastries though. I've never tried the Belgian waffle in this town because I'm not really a fan of it. I just got the chocolate croissant and bought some sweet wine.

I've only visited a couple of spots because I was only there for 5 hours and that's a lot of walking. I was so tired.